What mom mornings really look like

"Good morning guys! Time for school." 

All of the kids have brushed their teeth and dressed themselves. They didn't even cry or tell me they couldn't find their shoes. The baby and toddler waited quietly until it was time to go. We all walked to school. I get home and have breakfast with the toddler while the baby naps. All is well......SAID NO MOM EVER!

The disaster of a morning that I had today really inspired this post. 

Today I woke up to blood smeared on the wall from my 5 yr old, who had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and decided to use the wall as kleenex. Then, on my way to get something to clean it....I stepped in cat puke. Yay me! Way to get that foot exfoliation that I haven't had the time for. 

As we scramble out the door my 5 yr old has his shoes on the wrong feet...... AGAIN! Some days I want to pretend I didn't notice so that I don't have to wait another 30 years for him to put them on the right feet. 

Fast forward to school. Everyday the 2 big boys hug and kiss the toddler goodbye. Well today the toddler decides running in circles as his brother goes to hug him would be fun. "Ok ok enough! They have to go!" Now the toddler is crying the whole way home because "big brother didn't gimmie hug and kiss". SIGH!!!!!

Ok. Now we're home. I'm going to nurse the baby and then get the toddler breakfast. Oh, nevermind. I have a 14yr old dog with dementia. He's having an episode and I've gotta calm him down, except the baby is screaming now because he wants his milk. As I sit with the dog between my legs and the baby at my breast, I look over to find my toddler serving himself a breakfast of honey barbecue beef jerky and teddy grahams. Did I mention it's only 9 a.m. at this point? I needed somebody to hand my several drinks, a tylenol, and a pillow at that point. 

I don't know how we moms survive sometimes. To think my husband comes home and asks me what i did all day. Well........if this is everything I had to deal with by 9am.....take a wild guess on what I did for the rest of the day? Hint* It did not include napping, eating, using the bathroom in peace, or enjoying peace and quiet.